Sorry its been a little while, I’ve just been a little busy and I had a lot to say about this one. Fair warning this review may have plot details and potential spoilers, so if you want to avoid that you have been warned. This one has sub-headings, it’s going to be a long one.
So, Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is the third film in the Fantastic Beasts franchise again directed by David Yates, but this time with a screenplay by J.K. Rowling and Steve Kloves (who wrote the screenplays for the Harry Potter films, so Rowling still came up with the story essentially). It again stars Eddie Redmayne and Jude Law, but this time Grindelwald is played by Mads Mikkelsen instead of Johnny Depp.
The Fantastic Beasts Franchise So Far
So, first Fantastic Beasts is a perfectly nice little standalone Wizarding World movie. I liked the beasts, Kowalski was great, Tina and Newt had a nice central dynamic and I liked Colin Farrell as the villain. Turning him into Johnny Depp at the end was a bit weird, but I was prepared to go with it. So fine movie, but honestly not really a set up for a major franchise.
So the second one comes along, The Crimes of Grindelwald. And I was way too nice to it back then. Over time and having watched a lot of Internet reviews, it has aged like milk. There are way too many characters, to the extent that they cut a few of them in the third one and I don’t think anyone noticed. The film is way too bogged down with trying to set up this wider universe whilst also trying to constantly remind you of Harry Potter. Ultimately it doesn’t really have any kind of story, its just a set of character introductions and exposition, then the film ends. So, the set up for this film wasn’t great, so how did it turn out?
Here’s all the reasons The Secrets of Dumbledore sucks:
- Characters: I think one of the biggest problems with this film is the characters are so poor. Not a single one is memorable or interesting to watch. I take that back, Kowalski is a good character. He’s just so loveable and he’s the only one who acts like a real person. I actually don’t mind the relationship between him and Queenie, I wish they made more of it rather than the one scene they get together in this film. But i wish nothing but the best for Kowalski, he is a hero.
- As for the rest, Newt isn’t too bad he just isn’t interesting enough to be the protagonist. He likes animals, that’s his character. And the movie isn’t really interested in him either, its constantly trying to shift focus onto Dumbledore or Grindelwald or anyone that isn’t Newt. What is Newt’s Motivation to even be in the fight? The fact he’s a nice guy and that’s about it.
- Katherine Waterston, who plays Tina, clearly did not want to be in this film (I don’t blame her) and is only in the very end. I have a feeling that when they realised she wasn’t coming back, they just created the character of Lally Hicks (who’s name I had to look up- genuinely couldn’t remember) and gave her Tina’s lines. It’s so strange for someone who was a big character in the first two, but for whatever reason Tina was pretty much written out.
- Newt’s brother Theseus does nothing. Kama also does nothing, he has this plan to do undercover with Grindelwald that has an obvious pay off. Did anyone else notice they wrote out Nagini from the last film? Remember how Nagini was a human girl in the last one, but I guess J.K. realised that it was a bit dark that this human girl gets beheaded by a teenager in the future, so left it out.
- Finally, Dumbledore and Grindelwald themselves. Jude Law does a fine job, despite his meandering accent, but Dumbledore just doesn’t really have any character beyond you knowing who he is in the future. He’s just there, you don’t really get any sense of this man changing and growing up to be the man we will know, he just acts exactly the same as if, he won’t change until he decides to ditch the suits in favour of robes and let his beard grow out. I love Mads Mikkelsen and he embraces being the villain when he can, but he just has so little time to establish himself here, that he just feels over before he’s had a chance to really shine.
- Prequel-itis: This film and to a larger extent the second one suffer badly from what I like to call ‘prequel-itis’, which is when, to its detriment, a film tries really hard to remind you of a franchise you already love. And in doing this makes the films story boring. The Star Wars Prequels are the granddaddy of this because there’s no jeopardy or real stakes, you know Anakin is going to become Darth Vader, so their final fight, whilst it might look epic, has nothing at stake. Revenge of the Sith goes to such an effort to tie the film in directly to A New Hope that it forgets to be unique itself, other than providing the world with great memes. Fantastic Beasts just wants you to remember how much you like Hogwarts, even when it doesn’t make sense (How is McGonagall there, she would be ancient by the time Harry arrives?). And there is no jeopardy in the Dumbledore-Grindelwald fight because we know what’s going to happen. That’s why the first film is by far the best because it doesn’t get bogged down in saying REMEMBER HOGWARTS? REMEMBER DUMBELDORE?
- The Story– One of the most baffling things about this film is it’s story. For some reason the main focus of the film is the election to become Supreme Mugwump (I’m not making that up), which is essentially king of all wizards. The ins and outs of this electoral process, basically make up the entire thrust of the plot. WHY???!!! Who thought that electoral politics was something people would want to see in a Harry Potter/Wizarding World movie? Kids would be bored stiff by this film and Supreme Mugwump is mentioned in the original books, but I think the list of people who wanted this expanding on has to be a very short list. Also, a high percentage of the film takes place in 1930s Germany and Hitler or the Nazis aren’t mentioned once. Just thought that was interesting.
- The Crimes of J.K. Rowling– Much as this is something I don’t really want to wade into too much, I feel I have to mention the writer of this film and the creator of this all. Unless you have been living under a rock, you may have seen J.K. Rowling has come under criticism for a lot of things she has said, particularly regarding the LGBT+ Community and in particularly the T part of that. Personally, I don’t agree at all with what J.K. Rowling has to say and I don’t know why she would use her position of fame to actively make Trans folks lives worse when they often have a hard enough time already. Despite this though, I do think we should judge Rowling’s work on its own and I do think you can enjoy the art a person creates even if you don’t agree with what they say. So, when I criticise this film and in particular it’s writing, I do so because it is bad, not because I don’t agree with Ms Rowling.
- The filmmaking– Quick mention on the filmmaking side. I feel like David Yates must just been on autopilot now. He’s basically just the Harry Potter guy at this point. But honestly, there a quite a few shots in this film where it’s so dark you can’t properly tell whats going on. None of the locations really serve that much of a purpose either, like why is it Germany, it could have been London or New York and it wouldn’t have mattered.
- The future of this franchise- So, where does this leave Fantastic Beasts as a franchise? Well rumour has it re-shoots were done on the film to tie it together better. Which wouldn’t surprise me, the film definitely takes great pains to tie everything in a bow and mean you could not make another one quite easily. A fourth and fifth film had initially been green-lit, but I really can’t see that happening. The box office has been pretty poor and honestly I’ve hardly seen anything about this online except people criticising it. I don’t think I’ve seen a single person who was hyped for this and is hyped to see more. So, barring something extraordinary I think this may be the end of Fantastic Beasts. But, I don’t think its the end of the Wizarding World. I think they will try to make a film of The Cursed Child play one day. Perhaps also some Wizarding projects may be green-lit at Warner Bros without J.K. Rowling’s involvement (if that’s even possible) or with her as a producer rather than a writer. Who knows? Only time will tell.
So, don’t watch this film. It’s not good, if you want to see any Fantastic Beasts film watch the first one. Or go back and watch Harry Potter instead, they still hold up. 2 Stars.
Movie Night 